Equal
by NeonDaemon
Summary: After Bucky overcame his alter ego, things didn't simply stop hurting. Steve, not being able to stand his best friends sorrow, calls up a good old friend. Bucky soon finds out what makes this woman so extremely special. (Just a cute little Bucky x OC (reader-like) with a strong, charismatic female figure. Because i feel like we ain't got enough of those, aye?)
1. Chapter 1

"I have an idea. A really good one this time.", Steve exclaimed and Bucky placed his face in his hands.  
"I hate your ideas Steve.", he spoke muffled.  
Sometimes Bucky still sounded so cold and emotionless that Steve thought the Winter came through again.  
"No really. Your state gets worse and worse man, you need professional help.", Steve said, sitting down next to his friend on his bed, "I mean, when was the last time you really got out? You're..."  
"Enough. You're not a great help pal", Bucky looked up, even smiled a little about how senseless his friend was. Steve frowned at him and finally returned a small smile.  
"At least listen me out, okay?"  
Bucky sighed. He didn't need any help. Well maybe, yes he did, but he didn't want any. There wasn't anyone who could help him at all.  
He was just overwhelmed with everything.  
New time, new people, trying to come clear with his cruel past and everyone somehow hating him...he lived in the Stark tower now, yeah, but that didn't change the fact that Tony angrily stared at him whenever he was in sight or that everyone but Steven was so cold and distant.  
Not that Bucky didn't play his part in that behavior.  
He didn't want any contact. To anyone at all.  
He needed to come clear with himself before he could start to understand other people properly.  
He felt weak and lost.

While his thoughts trailed through his mind Bucky had looked up and seemingly stared through the ceiling of his small room. He asked for a small one, he didn't want to make to much trouble.  
There wasn't much in it, but he didn't feel like he had anything to fill it with either.  
Steve glanced at his best friend. He felt bad for him. He knew what it felt like to be lost.  
And in Buckys case, it was even worse than it had been with him.

After both of them went silent for a few very long seconds, Steve continued speaking in a very light tone.  
"Remember...how we talked about you trying to come clear with yourself and all this new stuff?"  
"Yeah...", Bucky hummed, not moving.  
"And that i proposed to get you someone, you could talk to about it?"  
"Yes. And you did. I hate psychiatrists. I don't want another one."  
"No...nothing like that.", Steve shook his head,  
"I told you about this woman i met..."  
Bucky looked up.  
"You did? I can't remember. What woman? I told you, no medics."  
"No...she's not quite a medic she's...um...I told you I had help from an angel, remember?"  
Bucky chuckled. "Yeah i remember you told me that. You even blushed while talking about her."  
"Shut up.", Steve laughed quietly and a flush of pink appeared on his cheeks.  
"You said she disappeared after helping you.", Bucky frowned slightly, looking at the wall again.  
"Yeah...well i found her."  
"Oh...wow. Cool. Good for you pal, how did that happen?", Bucky looked at him, not smiling, but seemingly happy for him. He'd spoken highly of her, so she had to be special to him somehow.

Steve laughed and looked down.  
"It's so strange man i tell you...I...She said when i needed her i'd find her again and...here i am, needing her and just like that Stark tells me he'd found her, small house, in Europe."  
"Europe? Okay? What is it your implying?"  
"Bucky...the thing about her is that...she...it's hard to explain. You should really meet her. She helped me out so much. She..she changed me man", Bucky would have laughed but the way Steve looked up at him made his grin disappear.  
"How would she be able to help me.", he stated. Desperately and sad, Steve hated hearing him like that. That was not his Bucky.  
"She would. Trust me. Just...try it. Please. Without her i wouldn't stand here today. I'd be in the same condition as you now. Scared and frustrated. But...Buck...I need you to trust me. When i say she's an angel i mean it. If someone, anyone out there can help you it's her."  
Bucky stood up and ruffled through his hair.  
"I don't know Steve."  
"Buck...do it for me. Give her a chance. I swear to god i'll leave you alone if it won't work."  
"How could she understand?"  
"You won't believe me if i told you. But even Tony was startled by her and he'd tested her like a thousand times to be sure."  
"Tested what?", Bucky got nervous.  
"You will have to hear for yourself. Please Buck. Do it for me.", Steve stood next to him now and Bucky glanced over his shoulder to look at him.  
"...one last shot.", he said.  
"Is that a yes?", Steve asked, euphoric.  
"Man I...does she even want to? I mean she doesn't even know me!", Bucky moaned.  
"She'd love to. She will love you, trust me Buck."  
"Yes then...", Bucky mumbled.  
"What?"  
"Yeah.", he muttered.  
"I didn't catc-"  
"YES GODDAMMIT", Bucky turned around, just to run into a bear hug from Steve.  
"Perfect. Good decision. Although you shouldn't say something like that close to her!", Steve let go of him and ran out of the room.  
"YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT BUCK!", Bucky heard him call from the hall and sighed.

"What have i done."  
Bucky groaned and sat back on his bed, placing his head in his lap frustrated.

* * *

Piangero la sorte mia out of Giulio Cesare was playing loudly.  
Humming into the all so sweet melody (Y/N) watered the plants in her italian garten, breathing in the fresh air, sensing the bees humming and the sweet scent of soft flowers.  
She reached out to her whine glass, on the small 7800 dollar marble table and took a sip.  
Italy was great after all these years, but she already started to miss the north of France again. It was just too warm and perfect down here.

Steve looked out of the car. The windows were black and held back the beautiful afternoon sun.  
He could convince Tony to stay home. Tony would only make her all nervous again.  
If he'd only could bring Bucky here. She always lived in the most beautiful places, the calmest, sweetest. It would've been perfect for Buck to stay here with her, but it was too dangerous to bring him so far away for such a long time.  
He had to convince her to go with him. Somehow.  
How would she react seeing him after 4 years?  
Not that it was a long time for her but...still.  
"Go already.", Natasha pushed him.  
He didn't want to go completely without backup. She would listen to Nat, wouldn't she?  
He suddenly was afraid. What if she didn't want to?  
He could've at least sent a text before coming over.  
"You sure this is the place?", Steve asked the driver who just nodded.  
Of course it was the right place. He'd only had to look at that house and knew who it belonged to. He'd never seen it before, but it was just her style.

Opening the door he slipped out, Natasha close behind him.  
He stopped in front of the ancient looking black door and turned to her.  
"How do i look?", Steve asked and pulled and pushed the fabric of his suit back and forth.  
"You want to say hi, not marry her.", the woman behind him shot, glaring at him.  
Steve took a deep breath.

"That scent...", she sniffed slightly, turning around. There was someone in front of her door...was that...

Steve carefully grabbed the golden door ring attached to the wood, shaped like a lion devouring the ring.  
It reminded him of the door from Ebenezer Scrooge in A Christmas Carol.  
He knocked three times. And released the breath he was holding.  
Natasha lovingly stroke his back, assuring him that everything was okay.  
"She is lovely, she will be nice. Everything will be okay Steve, calm down.", she whispered.  
"Yeah...For Bucky. I need to do this for Bu-"

"STEVE FUCKING ROGERS!", he heard her scream inside the house.  
Natasha looked shocked.  
She heard a lot about the lady, but never met her in person.  
"How did she knew it was us?", Natasha asked, looking for any cameras, not finding any.  
"I stopped asking questions around her after a while.", Steve muttered back, waiting for the door to open.  
"COME IN", she called again, her voice muffled from the door.  
"THE DOOR IS LOCKED Y/N!", Steve shouted back.  
"THEN OPEN IT!"  
"I DON'T HAVE THE KEY!"  
Natasha felt out of place just standing there hearing them shout at each other.  
"WELL YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS!"

Steve looked around.  
"Ah...right...", he crouched down to his left, touching the ground beneath one of the many flowers which bloomed.  
"What are you...", Natasha asked carefully and confused.  
He looked up at her and pulled out a small golden key.  
"The red Tulip. It's always the red tulip in spring. The key.", he stated, as if there was nothing strange about it.  
She slowly nodded. "Of course."  
He walked up to her again, opening the door and guiding his female friend inside.  
Natasha stared with wide eyes as Steve entered behind her, closing the door.

"This is...wow...", she gasped and Steve laughed.  
"Not bad, huh?" he grinned and took her jacket from her, hanging it on an ebony clothing rack, adding his too.  
The walls were painted in a very dark blue, the furnishings were of a dark brown or black. Everything seemed so...perfect. Like a dollhouse.  
There was a huge fur spread on the floor, books scattered around all the place. Expensive looking beautiful paintings at the walls, every inch covered in them. There where beautiful silver vases and fresh flowers everywhere. A ornamented cup of tea stood on the table.  
Natasha took the scent in. It smelled so...flowery.  
There was a huge piano standing on their left and without noticing Natasha found herself wandering around in the small house, regarding all the small statues, skulls and stuffed birds.  
Right in front of them was an opened door, leading to a garden.  
Steve could smell the small campfire burning and he made his way outside.

Natasha hesitantly went after him, still fascinated with all the ornated details around this place.  
There she was. Sitting on a bench, surrounded by flowers, looking up from her book, spotting the tall men on the other side of her garden.  
He stared at her for a while before starting to move again.  
She shot up, doing the same and they met in the middle hugging each other tightly.  
He pressed his face in her hair, taking her scent in.  
"I missed you.", he whispered, pressing her on him.  
"It's been only a few days.", she answered happily.  
He let her go and looked shocked.  
"Its been four years Y/N!"  
"Four years, onethousandfourhoundredandsixty days, whats the difference?", she glanced at Natasha and smiled softly.  
"And you must be the wonderful Madame Romanoff, it's a pleasure to meet you.", the woman lowered her head and she just smiled, her eyes sparkling.  
"I heard a lot about you Miss Y/L/N, Steve couldn't tell us enough about how friendly and loving and forgiving you are and that yo-"

A loud noise made her look to the side, to the marble Table Steve was leaning at while it fell over and shattered.  
She went pale and so did Steve.  
"Oh...oh OH I'M SORRY i didn't...we can...we can fix that I...", he stumbled over his words and feet at once.  
"That...That table was from the 15th century...", her eyes fixed on the ruined piece of art and her voice only consisted of a small whisper.  
"I am...there a a lot of tables from that time! I'll get a new-"  
"I KNEW THE ARTIST. HE ENGRAVED SOMETHING FOR ME YOU STUPID LITTLE SHIT!", she started screaming again and Natasha actually had to hold back a laughter.  
"I'M SORRY MAM I I... I ... I.. I OUCH!", he douched as he threw a broken piece of marble at him and he started running in the house.  
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY GARDEN YOU PUNK!", the so called angel shouted angrily.

She breathed a few times and set her hair back in place before turning to Natasha who meanwhile couldn't stop giggling.  
"I am so sorry Madame Romanoff...would you like a cup of tea?", she said, placing her hand softly at the back of her guest, leading her back inside.

* * *

After Cap apologized a thousand times and she drank a few cups of tea and wine to calm herself, Steve started getting nervous.  
"I wanted to ask you...something.", he stated, looking at her.  
"I know exactly what you want to ask me", she said, not looking at him but playing with the edge of her glass.  
Steve looked down, "How did you-"  
"It was all over the news. That whole Winter Soldier thing. It was only a matter of time before you would ask for my help. He's probably depressive, troubled and insecure about his behavior, maybe even suffers from Insomnia...Does he remember his victims?", Y/N asked calmly, cold even and didn't bother to look at him.  
Natasha excused herself and went looking around the old books to leave the two of them alone.  
"Yes...Yes he does. It eats him alive. I...i don't know what to do Y/N. I need him. I Need you. Please."  
She leaned back in her seat, taking a sip of wine.  
"I am sorry Steve. There is nothing a can do for you at the moment."  
"But...WHAT? You helped me too! You can do that. Who if not you? You know what it feels like, you could...you could help him fit in. At least a little. Please. You could save him. He's falling apart. I..."  
She could hear him tremble.  
"Yes...I could."  
"But?"  
"But COULD. I...I'm sorry Steve I", she touched her head, looking hurt and weak. He didn't see it. He didn't wanted to see it. She was his last hope. She had to.  
"What?"  
"I..."  
"What is it?!"  
"I can't do that. Not now. I'm...why do you think i'm here? I'm...I'm not exactly in the mood.", she looked around and whispered the next words, "Steve...dear...i'm...i'm way to unstable myself right now. I'm in a bad condition myself. I...mean that having someone so depressed around him right know could make everything even worse for him. Give me time. Come back later. Give me...5..10 years and i'll be my old self again. But i need to rest for a while."  
She seemed tired.  
"10 Years? Are you kidding me? At this rate he'll have a bullet between his eyes by then. Or an overdose, or cut wrists or who knows what!", Steve got up, angrily pasting around.  
"I'm sorry Steve...", she lowered her voice, closing her eyes slightly.  
"Couldn't you at least try?", he asked, shaking and fearful.  
"I...I don't know."  
He crouched down in front of her, taking her hands in his.  
"Please. Look at me."  
She looked him in the eyes.  
"Please at least try it. Do it for me."  
"Both his and my sanity are on the verge here Steve...This could end in breaking both him and me."  
Steve exhaled thoughtfully.  
"He will also break when we won't do anything. And i know you'll recover. I know you are strong enough. Please."  
She didn't answer.  
"Y/N, i am begging you. I do everything you want. But at least try."  
"I am to weak right know."  
"You can do it."  
"I-"  
"Y/N!", he whispered, "Please."  
She took a long breath and finally, slowly and with closed eyes nodded.  
He groaned in relief and pulled her close into a hug.  
"Thank god sent you."  
"You mean he pushed me down?", she said jokingly and made him smile sadly.  
"Yes. That."  
"These Angel-jokes never get old do they?", she asked sternly and he grinned.  
"As long as you don't prove you aren't one? Never. And now come. We have work to do."

* * *

"Do you even know how much shit these flying beasts blast into the air?", Y/N said, looking around angrily.  
"Oh god i almost forgot...", Steve mumbled, pushing her up the stairs to the jet.  
She didn't need to pack anything. Tony wanted her around one way or another and he should still have shit loads of clothes of her around the tower. The only thing she grabbed were some faked passports and nicely packed up presents.  
"Forgot what? That i seem to be the only one on this god damn planet that cares for our beloved mother earth? And yes i did see you step on the small flower when you entered the car.", she glared at him and he looked down both startled and smiling.  
"Well, taking the ship would take too long.", Natasha added smiling and padded her back.  
"Why? I have all the time of the world."  
"You. Not us. And now stop whining.", Steve chuckled.

The flight went silent and without any problems.  
Steve knew that there was nothing she hated more than to flight so he sat close to her, his arm around her trying to talk her into sleeping a little.  
Natasha sat across them giggling everytime she dissed Cap.  
"I can't wait to hear some story's from you.", she smiled.  
Y/N chuckled. "It's not that interesting really. But...do i hear doubt in your words?"  
Natasha sighed. "Well it is hard to believe, you have to admit."  
A toothy grin appeared on Y/N face and she shook her head.  
"Sure is. But i though Stark explained already."  
"He did...he sure did.", Nat nodded, "But...it's just...I'm sure you know what i mean."  
"Yes i do...i can prove you wrong if you want me to. When were back home and alone you are invited to pull a trigger right in my face dear. You'll have to clean up and bring me to bed afterwards, but i am sure planting a bullet in my head will convince you, that the storys are true.", Y/N smiled at her. She'd moved closer and spoke in russian, so she wouldn't make Steve nervous.  
Natasha stared at her, a little pale.  
"I wouldn't...I wouldn't shoot you i mean i-"  
"No really, you can. No hard feelings. It hurts but so do other things. You have enough time to think about it, your decision", she smiled and Nat returned it.  
"Could you to stop speaking russian now? I'm feeling pushed away.", Steve whined and both women chuckled.  
"Sorry bae, we'll be nice from now on, speaking your language, Captain AMERICA. What a clishé...", Y/N purred and Natasha started laughing.


	2. Chapter 2

"Are you ready?", Steve asked.  
As if she could say no.  
The three of them stood in the elevator and with a cling! and Jarvis' gently voice saying that they reached they're destination the metal doors opened, revealing Tony and Bruce, standing with their backs to the Elevator now looking over their shoulders.

"Oh. My. God.", Tony whispered.  
"Here it comes..", Y/N sighted.  
"OH HOLY GOD! Look at that! A new record for the oldest antique in this tower has been settled! Step away Rogers, your not the Champ anymore, nor your little icy-friend WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION EVERYONE!", Tony exclaimed loudly, while walking up to her in a fast pace.  
"THE NEW CHAMPION, RIGHT OUT OF EUROPE, JUST FOR US TONIGHT, WEIGHTING A 250 POUNDS-"  
"Hey!", she laughed at that, till he picked her up bridal style and spun her around happily.  
"The oldest, sweetest and sassiest little bitch...oh excuse me, Madame you will find around here!"  
"STARK SET ME DOWN!", she laughed.  
"NEveR! You left me! For four years!", Tony growled and finally put her down.  
She turned around to greed the other person in the room.  
"Doctor Banner, nice to see you again.", she smiled, shaking his hand.  
"The pleasure is all mine."  
"You've been alright lately?"  
"Yeah, you really helped me, thank you again for th-"  
"I'M NOT DUN WITH YU!", Tony called again, pulling her into a tight hug, lifting her off the ground.  
"I'm sorry Tony, but i am not your mother, i can't be there all the time! Your a big boy now!"  
"Am not! I did so much shit while you were gone!", Tony shouted, muffled into her shoulder, "Rogers, tell her how much shit i did!"  
"Positiv. He did a lot of stupid things. Mind your language Stark.", Steve nodded calmly.  
Y/N smiled at him.  
"Always minding the language, that's my boy!", she said touched, smiling at Steve thankfully.  
"I'M YOUR BOY TOO! I'm more your boy than he is your boy!", Tony said.  
She laughed and after he let her go; placed a hand at his cheek.  
"Yes you are. I missed you all. But i told you to take care of yourself Tony...", she said somehow worried.  
"Last time you told me that, i was a teenager!"  
"Doesn't change the fact that i did tell you.", she poked his cheek and he softly smiled.

"Do you want to eat anything? Sleep? I made room for you in the 65th floor. I still have all of your stuff and had it washed. You look tired. Better go to sleep and calm down. Mind watching a movie? Or do you need any medicine? Drugs? Any-"  
"Tony.", Y/N had to stop him, "I'm good, boy.", she caressed his cheek and Tony felt like he was 7 again.  
"You haven't changed at all. Look how old i've gotten.", he sighed and nearly whispered.  
"You really do look old. You finally look like you can take care of yourself. Although i think you still can't..."  
Tony smiled smuggly.  
"Wheres Pepper?"  
"We...um...we're having a break. From each other."  
Y/n groaned silently. "Oh my what have you done...we'll talk about that? Okay?"  
"Okay..."

"Now.", Y/N clapped her hands together and turned around looking at Steve, "Where is he? Let's get to work."  
"Now? Already? I...", Steve stumbled over his words.  
"You know i like to work fast."  
"Yes but...do you think this would be a good idea?"  
"Do YOU think he's asleep already?"  
"No but..."  
"What but?"  
"I don't know...maybe you're right. Let's go and see Bucky."

* * *

"Buck?"  
Bucky looked up. Hearing the voice of his best friend was on of the few things that pulled him out of his daydreams. Although it was evening already.  
Are daydreams in the night real dreams? Nightdreams?  
He sat on his bed again, reading through a magazine about garden furniture.  
Steve appeared in the doorframe, his hand was tangled with a smaller one. The other person stayed behind the door though so Bucky wouldn't see her.

Bucky like to leave his door open. It made him feel...involved. Even though he knew that, as Steve had put it:  
"Opening the door to you room doesn't equal socializing!"

"Hey pal, i'm back."  
Bucky smiled brightly, but didn't stand up. This other person whoever it was made him nervous.  
"I can see that. Had a good flight?"  
"Good one indeed, i had nice company.", Steve smiled nervously.

When she pecked around the corner behind his best friend Bucky's heart missed a beat.  
Her wide beautiful eyes looked at him with a curiosity he'd never seen before. They were dark circles beneath her eyes, which strangely only made her seem more beautiful. The way her messy hair fell in her face and over these perfect cheekbones made him stare. And these lips, these beautiful lips, colored like dark, fresh blood breathed life into that so...dead looking face.  
Bucky gasped quietly, then smiled, then frowned.  
She looked...dead. That was the word he was looking for. She looked like a corpse made pretty to look nice in her coffin. So pale, so lifeless and yet such a loving, warm aura surrounded her. His eyes told her that she died a while ago. The soft brown beneath her eyes and on her cheekbones. But he felt her. He felt the spark in her eyes and the soft pink on her cheeks and the air around him. Tingling.  
He felt this strange feeling in his tummy.  
A soft smile had meanwhile replaced the frown on his face once again and at least a whole minute had passed.

"Good evening Mister Barnes.", her voice was barely a whisper and yet it rang so loud in his head.  
Her tone was perfectly balanced between the weak creaking of a dying child and the melodic breath of a beautiful, young woman.  
She was so...confusing.  
He just stared at her, his eyes wide, his left hand grabbing his blanket.  
He let go of the magazine and while it fell she rushed forward from behind Steve and picked it from the ground.  
Looking up to him he stared at her again.  
She held out the magazine to him but he didn't realize it.  
Steve leaned against the door frame, grinning like an idiot.

Bucky opened and closed his mouth again.  
"It's a pleasure to meet you.", she smiled softly and he felt his knees weaken. If he hadn't been sitting on his bed he would have needed to grab anything for support by know.  
He used all his willpower to lower his gaze to her hand she held out to him but rapidly locked his stare to her eyes again.

She crouched down in front of him.  
Looking up, with these huge, dead and yet so alive eyes.  
"Do you have visions? Trance? I am real. You can touch me if you want.", she whispered softly with that hoarse voice of hers, which sounded so weakly.  
She turned around her hand, spreading her fingers so his could intervene with hers like she did with Steve before.  
Bucky wanted to frown again but felt himself unable to do so.  
She asked that question as if it was totally normal to ask something like that.  
Bucky stared at her hand and back at her.  
He wanted to touch her, but a terrible feeling rose in him that he would soil her with doing so.  
She wasn't human. He felt that. She felt like...an entity. Like an angel.  
Something holy. She spread this...light.

He very slowly reached out his normal hand, looking at her hand as if he was afraid he'd do something wrong.  
When he gazed at her again, she nodded.  
He felt so weak and strange around her. Moved. Changed. Her presence was dominating everything else.  
Every shadow every curve.  
It felt so wrong. So evil. He, a shadow himself. He felt extinguished. It hurt although it felt like pure satisfaction.  
"Come on James.", she softly spoke.  
He noticed he still didn't touch her and finally connected their fingers.  
They both looked at that tiny connection and Steve smiled satisfied.

Bucky had a sudden feeling of sickness in him.  
He frowned and his head hurt. The light around her began to get brighter and brighter and he pressed his eyes shut.  
He felt something warm in his hand. Warm and fluid.  
When he reopened his eyes there was blood dripping down her hand beneath her.  
It came from his hand. He had blood on his hand. His body was dark black and red and it soiled her, he could see her crumble.  
He could see ripped apart wings on her back, bloody and crushed and he could see sharp teeth between her lips while she grinned, like the ones of a poisonous snake -

Bucky pulled his hand back in fear but a sudden movement shook him awake from his visions.  
She had grabbed his full hand with hers, smiling at him.  
Bucky looked at her and then at Steve. Everything was back to normal again.  
She was stronger than he'd though, holding his hand tight.  
After this experience, she seemed way more normal to him. Still strangely sick looking, but more normal.

Bucky released a shaky breath.  
"What...was that?", he asked nobody in particular.  
"Sometimes...people get a little shaken by me. Are you feeling okay?", she asked him.  
Her soft hand was gliding around his hand she still held. He could feel two fingers pressing against his wrist, she checked his pulse.  
He imagined the hands of this living corpse in front of him to be icy, but she was just as warm as every other person.  
"Yeah...i'm okay.", he muttered and looked up to Steve, pleading for help.  
Steve understood and came closer to him, to sit next to his bed.  
"I am sorry. I can't control it. Everyone reacts differently. The Staring is normal. Everyone needs to get okay with someone so disgustingly dead-looking i guess", she chuckled slightly, but he could hear her pain in it.  
He wanted to tell her that he was not disgusted by her but she already spoke again.  
"I only once or twice saw someone reacting so violently though...you sure had bad times in your live...", she continued, gliding up and down first his hand then his forearm very slowly and softly.  
She didn't look him in the eyes, just on his arm.

"What is she doing?", Bucky asked a little scared and confused, whispering to Steve.  
She had her eyes closed and seemed very concentrated in touching him.  
He just chuckled. "She's getting used to your presence. Your...chakra...aura...whatever. Your soul."  
"Does she do that with everyone?"  
"Everyone she needs to know better. She held Romanoffs hand the whole flight.", Steve whispered back and Bucky nodded slowly.

When she opened her eyes she stared into the nothingness. She suddenly seemed very tired and weak.  
"You arlight?", Steve asked her caring.  
She looked up to her. She was worried. He could tell that.  
Her jaw was clenched and her brows narrowed, her full lips pressed together.  
She didn't say or do anything though, just looking at Steve and he understood.  
"James?", her voice was hoarse again.  
"Yes?", he answered carefully.  
Her eyes met his again.  
"What did you see?", she asked and gulped.  
Bucky thought for a while.  
"A demon."  
She concentrated.  
"Is it gone?"  
Bucky looked around in the room and she closed her eyes again.  
"Yes."  
"Good. I feel that too. It's not just one. They'll come back. Tell me when they return, okay James?", she spoke so softly, so slow, like she was hypnotizing him. He loved the way she pronounced his name. It sounded a thousand times better like that.  
"Okay."  
She squeezed his hand.  
"Thank you Bucky."

She and Steve seemed to communicate via eye contact now.  
A frown, another frown, a shake of the head, another frown.  
"Guys?", Bucky asked carefully and they looked at him.  
"Hey Buck um...would you get the lovely lady a chair?", Steve asked and Bucky nodded, getting up and out of the room.

Steve rapidly grabbed her hands and planted a kiss on her hair.  
"You're okay darling?"  
She looked at him and shook her head.  
"This was heavy."  
"What do you mean with demons?"  
"I mean demons."  
Steve was raised by a very religious mother, but he never really believed in ghosts, or demons for that matter. Although he really thought he'd seen an angel when he first met her.  
"What now?"  
"What now? I'd say if i wasn't one myself we should call a god damn exorcist Steve!", she stood up and walked around the room, examining the ceiling.  
"So?"  
"They surround him...They're everywhere around him...Depression and anxiety and...", she sighed.  
Oh...that was what she meant by demons...or did she?

"Here you go Ma'am.", Bucky stood in the doorway, holding the chair.  
When she turned around to smile at him her hair whirled and Bucky had to gulp again.  
When he made sure she was comfortable, he sat next to Steve down on his bed and looked at her.  
"So...you're here to...help me?", he asked, watching Steve, who just nodded.  
"Looks like. Steve called me out of my retirement. I though he'd be the only one of his kind i'd ever take care of but...here you are. Two of your beautiful bastards.", she smirked and Steve chuckled.  
Bucky just smiled carefully.

His expression hardened again within seconds.  
"But...look. I am grateful you made the efforts to get here and everything but...That's not going to work out.  
I'm not good with other people. I need...I don't think you understand.", Bucky sounded harsh and cold and for a second he was worried he hurt her.  
She looked down and smirked again.  
"Trust me when i say i do understand.", she chuckled.  
"No, you don't.", Bucky began to get a little angry. How could she not take this seriously.  
"James. Calm down. I probably do."  
"I've seen war. I've seen corpses over corpses, and i'm not even talking about what Hydra did, so stop-"  
"Seen that.", she simply smiled and it made Bucky's insides hurt.  
"How dare you to-", he started again before Steve calmed him.

"Okay...you two. Explanation. Now.", Bucky demanded.  
Y/N and Steve looked at each other again, more shy this time  
"You tell him.", Steve called.  
"Me? What the hell Rogers? You wanted me to come, you tell him. He wouldn't believe ME anyway."  
Bucky just glared at her and his friend by now.  
"What about her?", Bucky snapped.  
"She's...", Steve gestured something with his hands.  
"Oh. Okay. Now everything's clear.", Bucky shot again, more pissed this time.  
"She...she. She is...old.", Steve finally stated, proud.  
Now it was Y/N who looked pissed.  
"Oh wow. Thanks Steve. Such a gentleman."  
Bucky watched his friend bewildered.  
"What the Hell Pal?"  
Steve sighted exhausted.

"W-wait..", Bucky seemed to understand, "she's...you're, like us?", he asked and stared at her.  
She shook her head.  
"Mister Barnes...let me put it like that...", she started and he listened closely, "in comparison to me, you are nothing more than a...6 year old maybe."  
Bucky stared at her and then at Steve in disbelief.  
"What do you mean? What does she mean Steve?"

"She can't die. Simple as that.", Steve stated and exhaled a breath he didn't knew he held.  
"She...you can't...what?", Bucky chuckled now, "What do you mean you CAN'T die?"  
"I can't.", there was sorrow in her eyes and voice, "I simply can't. There's not much to say about it."  
"Nothing? Nothing can kill you?", Bucky asked, suddenly somehow fascinated.  
"Not that i'd knew."  
"Bullets? Knifes?"  
"None of it."  
"Can you drown?"  
"I tried that before. It is only painful. Very very painful.", she said.  
Bucky felt the urge to ask about the -tried it before- part, but felt like it wasn't the right thing to do.  
"Can you hang yourself?"  
"Tried that too. Nope."  
"Fire?"  
"I was burned pretty badly once, to the point were my right arm was nearly gone...it just recovered."

Bucky thought for a few seconds.  
"Do you...Age?"  
She stared into his icy blue eyes for a long while before saying the magic word.  
"No. But you don't either so don't you judge me mister."  
She smirked.

Bucky leaned back and gulped.  
"Well...that is not quite right though. I aged till my body was about 21. The age were the human body is fully developed. At it's peak you could say. After the age of 21 more cells die than being produced. The body slowly fades away. Not me though."  
Bucky's eyes widened.  
"21 hum?", he asked, checking her out in the most obvious way. She looked at him but simply busted out laughing.  
"DUDE!" Steve shouted, while Bucky smirked at her, "That's the first thing you ask?!"  
Steve caught himself chuckling too.  
Y/N held her tummy and bend over the chair, trying to breathe. Bucky couldn't stop smirking at her.  
"I mean...damn.", he whispered and Steve had to laugh even more, tears in his eyes.  
He was happy. After a long time Steve felt really happy again. That was his Bucky. His Buck.

After a while it went silent and she sat back in her chair, her legs spread slightly and she stared at the ceiling, panting, smirking from time to time.  
Bucky swiftly licked his lips and Steve pushed him a little, both still grinning.  
"I just mean.", Bucky exhaled to compose himself, "You...look a little older. Not in a bad way. You look...good.", he nodded while saying that. She smiled softly.  
"Thanks. Haven't heard that in quite a while. Hope you aren't lying although i think i'm desperate enough to be grateful for even that.", she smiled, again a little sadly.  
Bucky frowned. Was she serious? She was hot as hell and still seemed so insecure of herself.

"Back to business...", Steve sounded cold and a little worried and Bucky nodded.  
"You did live back then...right?", Bucky asked, "in the second world war."  
"Feels like last week, yeah...I've been a soldier myself."  
"You were?"  
"Well more than that actually.", she seemed kind of...distanced now.  
"Really? Which division where you in?", Bucky's eyes gleamed with happiness. This was something he knew about and he felt great to be able to talk to someone besides Steve about it.  
"Uhm..Bucky", Steve held his friend back, looking him in the eye, "She was...not exactly in...our team one could say."  
"Oh...", Bucky frowned, "You were with the Russians then..."  
"Ehm...no not exactly. I despised them and their system to be honest.", she forced a smile.  
"But...oh...oh...OH you...Oh...", Bucky seemed to be a little shocked, "You..."  
"Yes.", she answered, "Führungsstab der Schutzstaffel. One of Hitlers best man so to say.", she nodded regretful.  
He went a little pale.  
"Okay. But that was long ago Bucky. She's not on that path anymore.", Steve tried to calm him.  
It didn't work. Buckys jaw clenched.  
"You're a goddamn Nazi?"  
She sighted. "I am not a Nazi."  
"Then hurry. i give you two minutes to explain yourself or I will kick your ass outta here myself.", he gritted his teeth.  
"I joined them for the sake of my country. If you didn't notice, or they didn't tell you over there, Germany was fucked after Worldwar one, which wasn't our fault by the way, but thats a story for another day. I found like in them because i liked their ideas. Their way of economy. Their way of bringing a shattered place of earth together again, their way of getting the thousands and thousands of starving children off the streets. When all this jew madness started, i helped to bring them to their downfall. If Hitler hadn't shot himself I would've done it that day.", she explained calmly and he seemed less tensed.  
"Where you with Hydra? Did you help Hydra?", he hissed and she could see the pain in his eyes.  
"No. Never. I visited of their facilities quite often. But just because it was an order. It was the time they experimented with me. It wasn't nearly that bad than what they did to you though. That's it. They were responsible for the...experimental side. I was responsible for the field. I was out there, killing dozens of Russians, French people, and Americans. That's what i did. I did it in the first war, i did it in the second war. I followed commands and i served my country. If you can't accept that. Okay. But just let me remind you, that you did just the same thing James.", she spoke calm and her eyes seemed to be very understanding of him.  
"Can you forgive me that?"

He looked at her and exhaled deeply.  
"It's...it's Bucky."  
"What?"  
"Call me Bucky please.", he muttered and looked away, blushing slightly.  
She smiled.  
"Okay Bucky."  
When he looked back at her, something wasn't alright.  
She seemed to get even paler, her body carefully rocking back and forth, barely noticeable, her hands slightly trembled and her gaze seemed...weak.  
This was the winter soldier inside of him. He would notice every detail. No matter how small.  
"Are you okay?", Bucky carefully asked and she slowly nodded.  
"Yes...just a little tired.", she smiled and Bucky looked at Steve for support. Steve simply frowned.

"One last question", Bucky asked, worried this time.  
"Shoot."  
"How long."  
She inhaled and closed her eyes.  
"How long are you...around already?", Bucky asked again.  
"I...You see Bucky...your problem is that you tend to forget things from your past. My head...", she touched it, as if she wanted to rip it away, "...my problem is that i remember too much."  
"What do you remember?", Buckys voice seemed small from his compassion.  
She seemed so troubled, so weak right now. He wanted nothing more than to hold her close, wrapping his arms around her body, kissing her forehead and humming her to sleep till sh-  
"I...", her voice dragged him out of his thoughts, she seemed to get more and more tired with every word.  
"I remember fearing for my life in the cold war. I remember the post war time, shattered and wounded, raped and punished by both Americans and Russians for being the looser of this game.  
I remember the piles of dead bodies. Children, Men, Women. I remember the smell of their burning corpses in Auschwitz. I remember demonstrating for a better world, thinking i was doing the right thing. I remember the trenches in Verdun. Filled with rats and corpses and standing in blood and guts and mud and the soldiers trying to keep themselves alive with the rotten body parts of their fallen comrades. I remember what i've seen. And heard. And all the smells and tastes..."  
"Y/N...it's okay...calm down.", Steve reached out holding her hand.  
She turned a little, grabbing a cigarette from her pocket.  
"Not good for your health.", Steve barked and she chuckled bitterly.  
"It won't kill me.", she said and lightened it,  
"I remember the stench of the industrial revolution. I remember the very first cars and how they scared me. Small soft bleeding hands of children pushing buttons and working with sharp machines till they dropped dead. I remember the European wars. All the revolutions. I remember the french revolution. The youth standing on barricades, trying to fight for a better future, being shot down one after another. I remember the revolution in Art. All the poems and I still feel the fire in these words when i read them today.  
I remember the american revolution. The rising of your beautiful country. I remember the wind in my hair on that ship that brought me there. And the splashs of water at the Tea Party. I remember the Reformation, the first time i held the bible in my hands, not written in latin.  
I remember the Renaissance.  
The streets of Firenze and Roma and the Borgias and the Medicis and Leonardo's smile whenever i would visit him to watch him work and chat with him.  
I remember...the black death. I remember the Inquisition. I remember the noises these women made while being burned and the forests at night.  
I remember the war, that went on for one hundred years between France and Great Britain.  
I remember the first time i heard a canon being shot.  
And i remember the crusades.  
I remember Jerusalem.", She started coughing.

Bucky just stared. Not at her. he stared at nothing. Thinking.  
If this was true. Then there was a history book right in front of him, a wandering, living-  
He was yet again pulled out of his dream land.  
The coughing didn't stop. Steve had by now pushed himself of the bed and crouched down next to her, pressing her on him.  
She stopped coughing for a second and looked at Bucky. There was blood on her hand and dripping down her lips and Bucky froze.  
"Babe? Hey Baby, stay calm, TONY! Stay calm Girl, everything's gonna be okay, just breathe JARVIS! TONY! SOMEONE!", Steve tried to calm her and call for help at the same time and suddenly Bucky broke out of his trance and shot up, rushing for the door.

A sudden touch made him stop. Her hand reached out to him, smearing blood at his trousers. He stared at her in shock.  
She coughed again but wouldn't let him go. He had no idea what she suffered from and panicked even more. He hadn't even touched her and she was breaking down. He really only spread problems and pain.  
A sudden, sweet laugh made him stop walking and Steve stop shouting.  
She grinned tiredly.  
"It's just...calm down boys. I'm okay. I just need some sleep. Please don't get Stark. He'll call all the medics again and it will be terrible.", she coughed but still smiled.  
Her hand let go of Bucky and trailed up Steves Back who was still holding her, caressing him.  
"I'm sorry i ruined your trousers Bucky. I'll get you some new ones i swear in the name of Captain America.", another high laughter.  
Bucky found himself smiling at her. Steve was still questioning her state though.  
"Calm down Stevie. I just started coughing sweetheart. I'm fine.", with her clean hand she poked his cheek and kissed his forehead.  
"You sure?"  
"Yes. The cancer kicks in from time to time. Guess i need some new lungs...again...", she sighed snickering, "i am very tired superman. Would you mind helping an old lady to her bed?"  
Steve smiled softly.

Bucky just stared in shock.  
"Cancer?!"  
"Don't worry Buck. It won't kill me", she winked and smiled weakly. "It just makes me cough and ruins my lipstick and hot fellas trousers.", she pointed at his jeans and Bucky chuckled.  
"I'm sorry but i think our session is finished for today...", she said, "I know...live is hard...but...i lived through all these times, i know what it feels like to... well to loose everything and start anew. So...would you take me?", her voice was soft but firm.  
Bucky blinked a few times.  
"Give me at least a chance Bucky. I coul-"  
"Yes.", Bucky stuttered, "i mean. Of course. Yes. It would be great to...just spent some time together and...it really like to hear some storys and stuff like that.", he tried to smile.  
"Sounds good. Alright. See you tomorrow then Buck.", she hummed.

"Okay, say goodbye Buck, I'll bring her to her room."  
With that Steve suddenly lifted her up like she didn't weight more than a kitten.  
"Hey! I'm strong enough to walk you know. I could still kick both of your asses!"  
"Enough of that today Darling. Bed. Now.", Steve chuckled.  
Bucky stared at them. A little flustered.  
"Night...but..um...Steve will you..."  
"Yeah?"  
"Will you stay with her tonight?", It hurt him to ask for something like that. He wanted to be the one to lay with this woman till the rest of his life an-  
What was he thinking?  
"Just...in case something happens.", he added.  
Steve chuckled.  
"Nah. She won't even let me give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek. She'd slit my throat if i'd think about sleeping next to her."  
Bucky calmed and tensed strangely at the same time.  
Was this good or bad for him?  
"Good boy.", Y/N whispered weakly.  
"Can we go to bed now?"  
"Sure thing Darling. See ya tomorrow pal.", Steve waved goodbye.  
"Sweet dreams Buck!", she hummed and her hand touched his one last time before the both of them disappeared into the hallway.


	3. Chapter 3

Sooo. The chapters before have been a small introduction.  
I really hope you liked it (or still like it for that matter) and i hope to be able to provide you with some fresh new chapters every now and then.  
If there's anything you need or want to know just comment below, let me now.  
And just go ahead telling me what you liked or disliked! I'm happy to hear anything of you.  
Oh, and Jordan Lynn 7...thank you so much for following! Feel hugged please!

* * *

"James...James...Ja..Buck. Hey. Bucky. Stop it. JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES!  
James...Hey...Buck. Calm. Bucky. Stop it."  
His eyes finally shot open. The hand still rested on his cheek, he could feel the small smacks on it.  
His breathing slowed down a little and the person in front of him sighed.  
He felt another hand placed on his chest, pressing him down, his right arm was tied to the bed by something soft.  
He couldn't make out who stood in front of him. Is was dark, so dark that he couldn't even see any outlines. If he hadn't felt the small hot breaths on his chest and neck, and didn't feel the pressure on his chest he wouldn't even have noticed someone was there at all.

Wait. Tied to the bed? Hot breath?  
Did his nightmare just change in to a rather...nice one?

"What's your name?", the voice rang barely above him.  
It was her. She sounded a little out of breath. But she wasn't hoarse anymore.  
"What?"  
"What is your name, when were you born, were are you?", she asked with more emphasis this time.  
"Bu- Uhm...James Buchanan Barnes. 1917, Stark tower."  
She seem to collapse on him and he could hear and feel her chuckle.  
"Thank god you remember. You okay?", she asked and he was confused.  
"What happened?"  
"Nothing bad. Do you want light?"  
"Yeah."  
He felt her getting up and she warned him with a small "Attention...", before a flash of light made him blink a few times.  
The places where she had touched him felt awkwardly cold now.

When he looked at her again, she ran her hand through her hair, a red bruise appeared on her right cheek.  
She wore a darkblue short bathrobe which she held together with her left hand.  
He turned to his left to still see his hand tied with her belt.  
Bucky blushed slightly knowing she used both hands to keep him down before, so the robe must've been open back then.  
While he started to work on untying himself, he turned to look at her again.  
She kept a wide distance and glanced at him, touching her cheek.  
"Did...did i do that?", he asked, sounding regretful.  
He had meanwhile got up and sat on his bed, watching her.  
"You had a bad dream. I just heard you groaning. T'first i though you may had a visitor and just a nice night, but you actually sounded rather...unhappy.", she spoke.

She looked even worse by know, but seeing her yawn reminded him that she was quite alive.  
"Oh...Thanks i guess. But...you don't need to bother. I mean i have them every night so if you come to check on me every time it will be a tough job.", Bucky mumbled.  
"Well i haven't expected an easy one.", she smiled softly.  
"You still haven't answered my question Miss."  
She touched her cheek again and chuckled.  
"Was my own fault. You didn't hit me though."  
"I didn't...how did it happen then?"  
"I checked on your breathing when you suddenly got up. You have quite a hard skull."  
Not the only hard thing...Bucky shook his head, he shouldn't think of things like this now.

"Sorry."  
"As i said, not your fault Mr Barnes. Okay. Your good i guess so i'll be off, see you to-"  
"Wait!.", Bucky stared at her, "Why were you even here in the first place?"  
She looked down. "I...wonder around often at night. I suffer from bad dreams too, sometimes they are nice and give you the joy of waking up", she smiled softly and glanced at him again, "and sometimes you need a gentle hand to help you get out of them, right?"  
"Right...", Bucky smiled the smallest smile.

For the next few seconds they just looked at each other until Bucky finally glanced at his right hand again.  
"Uhm...this 's yours?", he held out the satin belt fitting to her robe.  
She stared at his hand like a shy deer would look at a huntsman holding out a fresh piece of bread.  
"Thanks", she whispered, reaching out for it. When her arm length wasn't enough Bucky bend forward slightly, so their hands touched.  
They stayed like that for a short while until she ultimately pulled the satin out of his fingers.

He watched her every move.  
How her glance carefully and slowly moved from his eyes, to the belt, to her hips.  
She wasn't a deer. She was a wolf. And he didn't know who would survive if it came to a fight.  
She tried to hold her robes together and pull the belt around her with the other hand.

"Come here."  
Bucky's voice sounded cold and like a command.  
When she looked at him his stare was cold and suppressing something.  
She cautiously stepped closer to him.  
Their hands touched again as he took the satin out of her hand and laid it around her hips.  
He could sense her heartbeat fasten as he felt her skin beneath the soft satin.  
Bucky wrapped the belt one time around her and made a small bow on her back.  
He looked at his work the whole time and when he finished he gazed up to her, to her huge dark eyes, watching him admiringly.  
"Done.", he whispered.  
"Thanks.", she whispered back.  
He wanted to let go of her. His arms still around her waist. But on the other hand he wanted to pull her closer.

She suddenly lowered her head, touching his arms just below his shoulders.  
If his heartbeat hammered fast against his chest before, it would nearly jump out by now.  
But she simply smiled at him.  
"Good night Bucky. If anything happens, you'll call me, okay? I'm one floor above you."  
"One floor above. Okay.", he whispered. He was the one being hoarse this time.  
He stared in her eyes just as she stared in his.

He wanted to say something. Anything.  
Anything from thank you so much to please stay here to throwing her on his bed to why were you wondering the floors to why are you even helping me to you make me uncomfortable to you make me feel so warm inside.  
But he just stayed silent.  
He stayed silent as she walked to the door.  
He stayed silent as she smiled a last time and killed the light.  
And he stayed silent as he heard her small footsteps disappear into the darkness.  
He stayed silent until his eyes closed and he drifted to sleep.

* * *

"Mornin Buck"  
Bucky moaned and turned around, pressing his face into a pillow.  
"Stop suffercating yourself n' get up", Steve cheered.  
How could he always be so happy in the morning?

Bucky suddenly shot up, staring a whole into the pillow beneath him.  
"Holy shit...", he muttered and a soft smile appeared on Steve's face.  
He was sleeping. Until now.  
This was the absolute first time that he was still asleep when Steve came in. Usually, he would sit up, his feet dangling closely over the ground and stare into the nothingness of his carpet.

"Had a good night?", Steve asked again, handing his friend a cup of coffee.  
Bucky pushed himself up with one arm and half-lay in his bed, taking a sip.  
He ruffled through his dark hair and yawned.  
"I need a shower.", he muttered.

Steve loved to see him in the morning.  
The fact that he was terrible grumpy in the mornings was one of the few ones that haven't changed at all.  
And although Bucky felt like dying every morning, he liked them too. Steve used to bring him coffee back in their normal life too. Every morning  
It was one of the very few things he remembered quite clearly.  
Mornings were something special for both of them and they tried to enjoy them as much as possible.

Steve got a grip on the chair which still remained at the same spot as it was the day before and turned it closer to the bed, sitting down, leaning back in it.  
Bucky had by then sat up and stared into his cup.

Bucky's room was small. Like, really small. Entering it, there was the bed ahead, a small closet on the left and a bookshelf on the right.  
The huge window was directly behind his bed. Bucky wanted it that way, so he could watch the town when he started to fall asleep. It reminded him that he was finally free. And safe.  
But this didn't change the fact that he actually had pretty much the whole floor for himself. He simply didn't use it. Ever.  
The only room he spent his time in were his chamber, and the bathroom which was just across the floor.  
Which also meant, that he only walked these few meters every day.  
He went to the gym from time to time, mostly at times, when he knew noone else was around.  
And he barely spoke to anyone. Sometimes he'd chat with Romanoff, but only because he went a floor lower to grab something to eat from the kitchen and she was, unfortunately as he'd put it, there too.

Bucky groaned and put his coffee next to his bed.  
"Okay, i'll...i'll go take a very cold shower now and you'll just stay here Rogers.", Bucky stated, grabbed a pair of jeans and a blue shirt and tumbled out of the room.  
Steve chuckled. He just loved his grumpy Buck.

When Steve heard the door crack open about 5 Minutes later Bucky smiled at him.  
He had a towel around his neck and his hair was still dripping wet as he stretched, took his coffe again and exhaled happily.  
"Better?", Steve asked with a smile.  
Bucky was downing his whole drink at once before putting it down again. "Way better.", he grinned.  
Steve chuckled. "You seem...rather satisfied. Happier than usual. Whats up?"  
Bucky stared at his door for a while. "Uhm...don't know man. I just...i just slept. Like...the whole night."

He did not quite know if or if not to tell Steve about her visit last night.  
"Hey Buck, come, let's go.", Steve got up himself, taking both his and Bucky's cup in his hand.  
Bucky frowned. "Where r' we goin?"  
"Just walking a bit through the tower.", Steve exclaimed and disappeared into the floor.  
Bucky looked around a little uncertain if he needed anything but simply followed after a few seconds.

* * *

"Anything bothering you Steve?", Bucky asked, walking next to his friend.  
They simply walked down some of the casual areas of the tower, were people in expensive looking suits started working and rushing around. The noise of distant phone ringing and muffled voices appeared to be everywhere and Bucky seemed kind of worried that something bad may have happened.  
This seemed to be the kind of talk people would have to discuss something important.

"Not really.", Steve seemed cheery.  
"Okay?", Bucky muttered and simply followed him again.  
"It's pretty hot outside."  
"Nice", Bucky nodded.  
Steve turned to his left, opening a glass door which lead to a balcony of the building.  
"Urhg...okay. Not nice.", Bucky exclaimed.  
Steve chuckled. "Yeah...told ya. Pretty hot."

The sun was crashing down and felt like it would burn everything in it's path.  
The two meant leaned at the metal barrier at the edge of the balcony, Steve staring down, watching the tiny cars and people, his hands folded and Bucky with his back to the abyss, glancing at the working people behind the glass.  
"What's the schedule for today?"  
Steve chuckled again, "There is no schedule."  
"When will she show up?"  
"Nobody knows...", Steve seemed to get a lot quieter.  
"Hmm...so...whats the deal with her?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"What's...i don't know...wrong with her?"  
"I don't know man...", Steve sighed.  
"You are telling me she just...what? Stood in font of your door sayin hi?"  
Steve took a long breath and stared into the sky for a few seconds.  
"She...", he frowned, "Tony introduced us."  
"She's with Stark?"  
"No, not like that. He told me that, he first met her at one of those fancy parties the Starks used to throw. His parents left him standing alone in one corner and she spoke to him."  
"Stark doesn't seem like the kind of guy who stands around alone at a party."  
"He was about 7 back then."  
"Oh..."  
"Yeah. Somehow she came into his life again from time to time. When he was a little older, when he was a teenager, when his parents..."  
"Oh great...", Bucky muttered.  
"Don't worry. She just cheered little Tony up, no hard feelings. She won't bug on you because of anything you did in the past, Buck."  
Bucky sighted.  
"And you two? Just met or..."  
"Stark. Tony somehow brought her in my life when i was feeling pretty...isolated. He figured someone who knew how it was to loose everything would...i don't know...help me to get on my feet again."  
"She did."  
"She did yeah.", Steve nodded.

For a long while they just stared at nothing in particular.  
Silence fell and Bucky just closed his eyes. It was nice to be around Steve. It made him feel safe. At least for a moment.  
On top of it he savored every moment he could spent outside. They rest of the team had decided that it would be wise for Bucky to stay in the tower. At least for now. Now seemed to be a pretty long time.  
"Where is she now?", he finally asked.  
"Don't know. She was with Stark this morning. He's pretty attracted to her."  
"Who isn't?", Bucky asked and smirked at his friend who started chuckling.  
"Getting back to old habits huh Bucky?"  
They grinned at each other until Steve shook his head, still smiling though.  
"I meant in a platonic way. She's important to him. She'd been like a mentor. Maybe a mother even. He knows her pretty much all his life."  
"Ew...stop saying she's Starks mother...sounds strange."  
Steve chuckled again, "She doesn't like it either."  
"I can imagine.", Bucky smiled.

"Come on Buck, let's get something to eat.", Steve tapped the Back of his friend and went back to the door, Bucky close behind.

On the way to the kitchen they heard her voice.  
She sounded angry and seemed to curse, but not Steve nor Bucky spoke the language she spoke. Dr Banner stood close to her, smiling a little uncomfortable.  
When she saw the two men on the other side of the hallway, her expression softened and she waved softly before turning around to shout in her phone again.

Steve chuckled and they proceeded to the kitchen.  
Bucky let himself drop on a chair while he stretched a little and Steve grabbed two sandwiches from the fridge.  
He questioningly looked at them.  
"There's a note.", Bucky noticed and pointed at the bread.  
Steve turned it around.  
"Hey, it's for us.", he smiled and threw one of them at Bucky.  
The sticky note was still attached to it, so he stared at the yellow piece of paper.  
Her handwriting was stunning and he started to ask himself how long she worked on that little note to make it that perfect.

\- for the SS  
(super Soldiers of course. No Nazi-joke implied)-

Bucky found himself smiling.  
"Here.", Steve said and Bucky looked up to him, "Seemingly ours too."  
Steve put the two glasses of orange juice at the table and started to drink his.  
Bucky just stared at his stuff in disbelieve.  
"Why would she..."  
"I don't know. I never asked. She's just nice i guess.", Steve tried to talk while eating his sandwich and Bucky started to eat his too.

"There are...some things you have to know about her."  
Bucky glanced at his friend. He knew something was up with that girl.  
"I don't know everything about her. How could i. But i can say that i know her at least a little bit. She's nice. She really is a nice, loving, caring person but...",  
Steve seemed to look around as if he'd check if everything was clear, before whispering, "she's a little schizo"  
Bucky chuckled. "She's a schizophrenic?"  
"Yeah. No. I don't know. Maybe it's just that she's a woman. But sometimes she's like...the most beautiful thing in the world and sometimes she's a fucking beast. She can get really angry. And she is dangerous so don't underestimate her."  
"So you tell me that i should watch my back around her?", Bucky frowned.  
Steve chuckled again. "No, don't worry. You're completely safe. But just in case, i'd like to ask you to hold her back when she goes all berserk, kay?"  
Bucky had to chuckle too now. "F' Course. Something else i need to know?"  
Steve thought for a while.  
"Well...she is easy to handle. If you need anything, ask her. If you want to know anything, ask her.  
In the beginning she will be quite distant. But that's just because she doesn't want to make you uncomfortable. After a while she'll ask strange sounding questions like: "Can i touch you like that?" or "Is it okay that i sit here?". That's just her way of giving you space.  
Um...should you ever meet her in the night in a hallway or something...stay calm. Ask her something and when she doesn't answer you'll know that she's sleepwalking.  
But that's really rare. It happened once when i was around and she scared the shit out of me."  
Bucky had to laugh pretty loud by know.  
"You were scared by her?"  
"Hell yes! It was in the middle of the night and she just stood there, staring. It was...brrr", Steve continued and Bucky had to start laughing again.  
"But usually she's simply walking around. That's actually pretty normal for her. She does it all the time when she can't sleep. And another funny thing is that no matter what she wants to do or when, she'll never ever switches the light on. She will ask you if you need light, but she herself will never need it for anything. I saw that girl cleaning a room in the middle of the night without light. It's freaky."  
Bucky chuckled once again. "Do you know why she does that?"  
"Nope. Not really. She once said it was a habit. Because of that whole I-lifed-before-there-were-light-switches thing."  
"Makes sense actually.", Bucky said and Steve agreed.

"You know...she payed me a visit tonight...", Bucky started after finishing his sandwich. It was good, really good and he longed for another one, but guessed he'd have to wait for the next morning.  
"She did?", Steve asked curiously while taking a sip of his drink.  
"Yeah i...", Bucky stared down at his hand, playing with the paper the sandwich was in, "She woke me up when i had a bad dream. We simply talked for a while and she checked on me before leaving again..."  
Bucky had no idea why he even told him that. It felt right though.

"Shit...", Steve whispered and sighed shortly after.  
Bucky seemed perplexed and just stared at Steve with a whats-the-matter? glance.  
"It's...that's not good. Not because of you or anything. But she should have at least slept a little.", Steve muttered and Bucky nodded.  
"Don't worry Babe. Maybe tonight."

Both of the man turned around to see her walking up behind them.  
"Morning Y/N", Steve smiled weakly.

Bucky immediately went silent and stared down into his drink.  
„A wonderful Morning indeed. If it wasn't so damn hot. What's wrong with america these days?", she slightly groaned and her hand went through her soft hair.  
„Well the WINTER was missing.", Steve smiled smugly at Bucky and actually made her laugh.  
Bucky dared to look up again. She looked so...formal. She wore a suit-like outfit, blazer and all.

Steve had pulled back the chair next to him for her and she sat down, so she was right across Bucky.  
„Ah, you noticed your breakfast. How was it?"  
„Good."  
„Reall' Good.", the two responded and she smiled sweetly.  
„Uhm..Bucky...sorry i didn't know how you liked yours so i simply put Steves favorite stuff on it, do you have any kind of favorite things to eat?"  
Bucky blinked a few times, but didn't look her in the eyes once.  
„I...I don't quite remember.", he muttered and she nodded.  
„No problem Signore. Listen, how about i try some different stuff for the next days and you'll just tell me what you liked best, kay?"  
He looked up, glancing at her face the first time today.  
She looked so much better, even though he knew she hasn't been sleeping at all. Her already big eyes appeared to be even bigger and her lips even fuller now.  
He stared at her for a while until simply nodding.

„Wonderful.", she smiled.  
„You look less shitty today.", Steve stated and smugly smirked at her.  
She just frowned and Bucky felt like punching his friend for that comment.  
„Well thank you Mister Rogers. I tried a new thing. It's called Make up. Apparently It makes up - even for an unpleasant face."  
„I see that.", Rogers still smirked and Bucky actually clenched his fists.  
„Okay.", she stood up, looking quite bitter, „That was enough mean teasing for a shitty Morning like this", she sighted and Steve tried to pull her back as she walked a few steps.  
„Nooooo, T'was just a joke please stay!", Steve chuckled while trying to hold her. She simply shook her head and went on.

„Y/n"  
Bucky's voice sounded sweet, caring and a little hurt.  
When she slowly turned around he frowned.  
Even Steve stared at him in surprise.  
„I'm...He's sorry. He's n' idiot.", he muttered.  
She and Steve still said nothing, simply looked at each other and back at him again.  
Realizing he needed to say more, Bucky gulped before adding: „Stay. You look good. Please."  
He mumbled the last word even quieter and, with both hands folded around his glass, he glanced at her pleadingly.

She did not smile. Although she did blink a few times and moved back to the table, which made Bucky look back at his glass again.  
She collected Steves glass and both of their papers, without saying a word.  
Moving around the table she now stood behind Bucky and he felt his heart hammering again.  
What was wrong with him?  
Was it that she just told her that she looked good? Nah.  
He didn't care about her at all. He was just doing this for Steve.  
Maybe it was his inner soldier again. Telling him to be careful around her.

„Do you still want that?", her voice rang in his ears like a strange melody, while her small hand pointed at his cup.  
He downed his orange juice and handed her the glass, watching how her hand avoided his at any means.

She muttered a small „thanks James", and went in the back of the room to the counter and started to do the dishes.  
„Good job Buck", Steve nodded respectfully and Bucky rolled his eyes.  
„You can be such a morron Steve. You're used to be so shy and nice to girls.", Bucky shook his head.  
„You...remember that?"  
Bucky stared into the nothingness for a few seconds. „Damn...you're right i just remembered it."  
Steve grinned. „That's great!"  
„Yeah...seems so...", Bucky frowned, „doesn't change that you probably hurt her feelings though."  
Bucky stared at him nearly looking angry.  
„Naaah. I didn't. HEY Y/N!"  
„Ya?", she asked, barely noticeable over the sound of splashing water.  
„Whe're good right? I didn't hurt your feeling...right? Did i hurt you somehow?", Steve asked.  
Bucky heard her sight before she asnwered: „No...we're good."  
„See?", Steve smirked again and Bucky looked pissed.  
„No means yes you jerk.", he stated blankly.  
Steve drew his brows together and seemed confused.  
„Hey Y/N, does No means Yes?"  
„Sometimes.", she answered and Bucky stared at him with an I-told-you-so expression.

Steve frowned. „Damn."  
„Yep.", Bucky added.

She came back to the table again sitting down next to Steve.  
Bucky watched her every move, as she untucked her hair and as it fell over her shoulders in sweet little curls. He felt the urge to touch them, just to see if they were as soft as they looked.  
Actually, thinking about it, he wanted to grab that beautiful hair, pull it back so her neck was exposed to his loving kiss-  
„So...", Steve started muttering and Bucky bit his lip for catching himself thinking of something like that again.  
Why again? He though about it the night before till he fell asleep.  
„What've you been up till now?", his friend finished his question.  
„This and that.", she replied, starting to get rid of her blazer and throwing it on the chair next to her.  
„Stark?"  
„Yes...", she mumbled, starting to unbutton her blouse, so the tank top underneath was visible.  
She didn't completely pull it out though, leaving it sloppily hanging over her shoulders.  
Bucky stared at her exposed shoulders and her throat. Small, white scares seemed to appear over it. very soft. Like they'd been there for ages and ages.  
„He had a meeting and said he'd like to have me with him again. These meetings always bored him to death and it seems like now that Pepper is gone, he needs someone else to entertain him. It was the last time i went with him though."

Bucky didn't really care about what she said in particular.  
He cared about how her voice sounded, and how he could try to make himself look somewhere, anywhere else than at her.  
„Damn, it's hot", she sighed and ruffled through her hair. She still wore much more than Steve and Bucky did and she probably died in that suit of hers.  
„Yeah", Bucky mumbled gulping and Steven gave him a small kick beneath the table.  
„Why's that? Is he getting to stressing for you? I can talk to him if you want me to.", Steve proposed lovingly and she gave him a small smile.  
„No...it's not that. I'd like to spent more time with my little mechanic, but i'm actually here for Mister Barnes and Mister Barnes only."  
Bucky felt like blushing but he actually only stared at her blankly, while she smiled softly at him.  
„True", Steve sighed.

Bucky felt the blood rushing up in his cheeks. It probably wasn't even visible for the other ones, but he felt the heat.  
"What are we. We gonna do...like...today?", Bucky finally asked what he wanted to ask her since she arrived in the kitchen.  
He looked her in the eyes now and could see a little light in them, as she stared at him.  
She seemed to think for a moment.  
"Nothing really. Today's your last free day i guess. I wanted to do some research before I start to work on you.", she smiled.  
"Work on me?"  
She smiled even brighter.  
"Ahhh. By the way there's something you two could do for me...", she stood up, pulling a small book out of her pocket.  
"Anyone's got a pen?", she asked and Steve handed her one.  
"Why don't you use your phone for notes?"  
"Tony checks my stuff often enough and there are some...things...in that book i'd rather like to keep a secret.", she smiled.  
She sat down again and started to scroll through the pages.  
Bucky only noticed her handwriting and some sketches.  
Steve stared at it and frowned.  
"Wait...", he put his finger in one of the pages and stopped her.  
Bucky glared at the words but he didn't exactly spoke german.  
"Doesn't that word mean...wait...whip? and...weed? What the hell?", Steve continued grinning at her.  
She blushed. "So then explain to me, why you know exactly these words, Rogers?"  
Steve huffed. "I'll keep my mouth shut, when you do."  
"Deal.", she nodded and scrolled further through.

"There we go...I need, and listen carefully, Bucky's Hydra uniform, do you still got that thing?"  
"Yeah, why?"  
"Just do me the favor and let me take a look at it.", she said, not looking up.  
"If you say so."  
"A report...from the day you two last saw each other. In the 40th's. The day you died James.", she looked up at him.  
Bucky simply stared at her, no expression on his face.  
"And i want the two of you to write it together."  
"Sure thing Ma'am.", Steve nodded.  
"I also want to have a report on the day you first met again. Not the S.H.I.E.L.D one, one written by your very selfs. AND the S.H.I.E.L.D one...because why not. And ask Romanoff and Sam too. I want to know if they remember anything besides from what you do. Got me?"  
"Got you."  
"Ah...and i need a report from what you did on your escape after the helicarrier incident Bucky. Don't worry, no private things, just like...did you socialize, did you do your own shopping etc. Stuff like that. Everyday stuff. Okay?"  
"Yes." Bucky nodded.  
"Very Good. Thank you...yeah...It's not a lot but it'll help me at least a little...the rest of the stuff i have to get on my own."

"So...when do you want all that stuff?", Steve asked her, leaning back in his chair.  
She looked at her watch.  
"4 hours and twenty eight minutes. We'll meet at the bar then. Don't be late... ... .. ... ... ... please."  
Steve and Bucky just stared at each other.  
"All that in 4 hours?!"  
"4 and a half Capatain.",she stood up and lay her hand on his shoulder.

"Oh and...", she pulled his head back by grabbing his hair and making Steve look at her forcefully.  
Bucky immediately shot up, the kitchen knife which lay on the table in his hand, and glared at her.  
She didn't even look at him, but hissed at Steve.  
"Do never. Ever. Speak in a tone like that again young man. If i ever catch you speaking to another woman like that, i'll decapitate you with my bare hands.", she whispered, her face barely a both his.  
"Got me?"  
"Got you."  
"Really."  
"Yeah.", Steve whined, but had to suppress his laughter.  
"Yeah what?"  
"Yeah Ma'am."  
"Good boy."  
She let go of him and ruffled his hair with a loving smile on her face, kissing his temple.  
"Sorry little soldier boy. You know i can get quite murderous in mornings. No hard feelings, yes?", she whispered again. But this time it was different. She sounded like honey impersonated. Like a sweet little angel again and Bucky just stared, totally confused.

"Okay. See you later Misters. I'll miss you.", she smiled that sweet smile again before disappearing out of the kitchen.  
When Steve made sure she was gone he started chuckling and grinning like an idiot.  
"Wha-...what just happened?", Bucky asked a little terrified, but had to smile himself as he watched Steve barely containing himself.  
"Seems your were right about the yes means no thing. Told you she was a little Schizo. Our little Schizo."  
"Did she hurt you?"  
Steve chuckled again.  
"No. She never did that. Would probably nether. She just likes to scare me a little from time to time."  
Bucky chuckled. "Well, you seem to enjoy it."  
Steve grinned and shook his head at the same time. "Yeah...no...yeah...don't know. Yes i guess. But pssshht.", he held his finger in front of his lips and Bucky smiled.

It was unbelievable how much Bucky smiled only today.  
Normally that amount of happiness was spread over the whole month.  
She really distracted him already.


	4. Chapter 4

Bucky hated that uniform.  
He held it in his hands, looking at it with a mixture of discuss and love.  
Somehow he did like it, if he though about it.  
It sounded strange, but that amount of control, which seemed to hold him back whenever he wore it made him feel save.  
Saved from himself.  
Saved from borders, rules.  
Saved from guilt.  
Whoever gave orders was in charge, had the responsibility.  
He was just the weapon.  
He didn't pull the trigger.  
He felt free from guilt in it.  
And in the same moment it made him feel so guilty.

A knock woke him.  
He turned around, watching her leaning against his door frame.  
She still wore the ruffled blouse and the high waist trousers.  
He actually really loved this more rebellious style these days.

"He Mignon.", she smiled and regarded him.  
Bucky glared at her.  
"How many languages do you even speak?"  
No matter how hard he tried to simply stay cool around her, he always sounded offended or even angry without really wanting it.  
Still better than mumbling and stuttering but still, not good.

She giggled as she walked up to him, still keeping her distance.  
Steve seemed to be right with that too.  
"Many. I had some time to learn a few.", she spoke, watching him when she approached.  
She couldn't really get anything from him. Normally, she would look at gestures and looks and she knew what was happening, with him it was different.  
She had no idea what he would do next. How he'd react to certain things.  
And she hasn't really seen him in action yet, so she didn't know if she could stop him if he'd tried anything.  
Did anything to her. With her.

"Is that it?", she pointed at the uniform in his hands and he nodded slightly.  
"Ahhh...wunderschön...", she whispered in awe, suddenly breaking her own rule, stepping closer to him, touching the leather on it.  
"Beautiful, truly a masterpiece...", she repeated in English, staring at many stripes and expensive fabric.  
"May i?", she asked carefully, looking up to stare him right in the eye.  
Was that a small shade of red on her cheeks? No. It was possibly only his imagination playing tricks on him.  
He simply nodded and she took it out of his hands. She stood right next to him, barely centimeters separating them.  
It was the first time after last night that she was that close to him.  
Looking down at her, Bucky only now noticed that she was actually quite small. The last time he saw her, he sat the whole time, and he wouldn't trust his senses in comparing anyone with Steve anymore after he grew that extremely much.

Her hand glided other the leather as if it was some kind of artifact. Something she searched for her whole life.  
Her eyes were wide open and her tongue would lick her upper lip from time to time, stroking the uniform in a manner, that seemed like pure desire.  
Bucky felt strange standing next to this attractive woman which seemed like she would press the fabric at her barely clothed body at any moment.

But nothing like that happened. She simply held it an arm length away from herself, staring at it and touching it with her other hand.  
He felt so silly.  
Primal instincts. Longing. Craving. He nearly forgot how it felt like to really be that close to a female being again. His thoughts really went on a riot just by looking at her.  
"B-Bucky?", she muttered flustered, turning to him.  
Her eyes were wide open and her cheeks -no doubt this time- bright red, as she stared up to him.  
Damn she was small.

"Would you do me a favor?" "Do you want me to...wear it for you?"  
Both of them spoke at the exact same moment, just staring in each others eyes.  
Bucky licked his lips. She looked so...craving.  
How could there be so much sexual tension...no Bucky, just tension..., he had to remind himself, because of that damn uniform?

"Could you do that for me?", she asked again, her voice sounded begging and he just felt so damn adored.  
"Sure", Bucky had to bit his lip not to say -doll- at the end of the sentence.  
It seemed like he lifted a weight off her chest.  
"Oh god thank you so much James. That is really nice of you.", she thanked him, with that beautiful smile on her face.

"Like...now? Here?", Bucky asked confused as she simply kept staring at his uniform.  
"N-no! No! Not...no!", she seemed to get even redder now, shaking her head, "not here. Later. In the bar. Could you wear it there please?"  
"Oh. Uhm. Sure. Yes.", he nodded.  
She thanked him again, before prancingly swirling out of the room.  
Bucky just remained there. Staring into the nothingness of the empty corridor.  
He released a shakily, quiet groan which sounded like a sigh before going over his reports again.

* * *

"May i sit there?"  
Natasha turned around to give a small, inviting smile. Not that she hasn't notice Y/N a long while ago, she simply didn't want to scare her off by awkwardly saying "Hi", from such a far distance.  
Sometimes - Natasha found her own skills frightening.  
"Thanks.", Y/n mumbled, putting her stuff at the table.  
Her "stuff" involved about a hundred pages of documents, two pencils, a cup of tea and an apple.

Natasha asked herself how she was able to walk around with all that.  
She herself sat there, with some coffee and her laptop in front of her, going through mission Intel.  
"What is all that for? You barely got here and already stuck in work?", Romanoff asked.  
Y/n sighed while taking a sip from her cup.  
"Well, I'm doing some research on the Winter Soldier. I know absolutely nothing about the man. Like...nothing. Only the few things Steve told me. Aka: that's Buck. Say hi."  
Natasha would have laughed at the joke but she simply stared at the woman next to her, which spoke that last sentence in Russian.  
"You...um you know we don't have to speak Russian."  
"Oh...of course i know it's just...", she tried to explain, "i like speaking with people in their native language. First of all because i hope i could improve my Russian a little bit and it's just...when people speak their mother tongue, they're mostly more themselves.", Y/n was quite fluent. Well, it was far from perfect and she still had a quite thick accent but Natasha liked the idea of it.  
"AND...no one besides Jarvis will be able to understand us. So we can have some Girl talks without anyone noticing.", Y/N grinned and Natasha answered with a smile herself.  
"Sounds good."  
Nat started to understand why Steve loved that woman so much.  
She was straight forward and hardworking and serious, just like him, but when she adjusted a little to you, she was sweet and caring and that was something Natasha really appreciated.

After a while of silent working Natasha looked over to her again.  
She was reading, marking keywords and putting them on an extra sheet of paper, making notes throughout the process, looking very concentrated.  
"You don't like to work with...newer devices i guess?", Nat asked her, pointing at her laptop.  
Y/N stared back at her with wide eyes, starting to laugh.  
"No no no. I love them, really. I'm maybe old, but i'm not Steve Rogers.", she shoved a smartphone out of her pocket, "see? I'm actually pretty up to date. I love every single computer out there, trust me.  
It was HELL back then, only writing with feathers, in the middle of the night. The candlelight made your eyes burn like fire."  
Natasha stared at her.  
"Wow...when was that?"  
"Hmmm...i did a lot of writing back in the day. About 1320...1380 maybe. Who knows. Can't remember. I can remember my hand hurting though. Thank God for e-mails. And Snapchat."  
Natasha chuckled.  
"This is amazing. Like...do you remember a lot of things?"  
"No. absolutely not. Most people can't even remember what they did last Saturday.  
I remember small things though. Like...that girl that sold flowers at the marketplace. Or that one perfect red dress i owned in the 15th century."  
"So the small things?"  
"The small things with impact...yeah."  
"So...did Steve tell you about the reports, did they ask you already about them?"  
"Yeah they did."  
"Good boys."  
Both woman looked down thoughtfully for a while.

"So why do you use Paper then?", Natasha repeated her question.  
Was that a shade of red on Y/N's face?  
She noticed a shadow and looked up to see Bucky leaning against the door frame.  
Y/N hadn't noticed him yet and stared down at her papers, caressing the side of her teacup while mumbling.  
"I...it's just i though that maybe. Bucky would like to handle some of the stuff he knew back in the day better. The only really contact with computers he had by now was probably...well in the wrong hands.  
He is so...he doesn't deserve this. Any of it. He's such a sweet guy."  
Natasha gave her a small kick beneath the table.  
"Psst. He's right there."

Speaking of the devil.  
Bucky was staring at both of the woman.  
Y/N was looking up from the table and her gaze met his icy blue eyes.  
"Oh hi there Bucky.", she smiled.  
"Hi...i just...", he came closer.  
Bucky was strange to look at. Even with a normal shirt and jeans he looked way to big and muscular to not be intimidating.  
"Wanted to hand you the reports. I'm finished and i though i...i'd give it to you now. So you don't have to do it later.", he mumbled, staring at her, reaching his normal hand out.  
She took it from him and her hand brushed against his.  
"Told you he's a cutie.", Y/N turned to Natasha, speaking Russian.

Natasha's eyes widened.  
Wait.  
Didn't she...  
Oh god.  
She didn't knew Bucky spoke Russian perfectly.  
Oh no.  
Natasha stared up at Bucky in panic and would've said something if there wasn't...  
That look on Bucky's face. That embarrassed look at his face.  
He looked...  
He was...  
His cheeks were flashed red. His heart probably pounded in his chest like crazy and he just stared at her.  
When his eyes met Natasha's it began to get really awkward.

"She doesn't know i speak Russian?!", Bucky's eyes screamed, without him actually saying a word.  
"I...YOU like her.", a small smirk appeared on Natasha's face.  
"I don't.", Bucky's expression hardened but Nat could read him like an open book.  
"Oh really?"  
Bucky's expression became one of a killer again. He looked ruthless and angry. Very angry.  
"Tell anyone, and i'll kill you."

"Guys?", Y/N asked carefully and both the assassins suddenly stared at her again.  
"Are you okay? You're not saying anything?"  
Bucky and Natasha stared at each other and then back at her.  
"It's nothing. Really.", Bucky stuttered.  
"Do you want to sit with us for a wh-"  
Before Y/N could finish her sentence, Bucky already pulled back a chair and sat across her.  
She smiled happily and pushed her cup near him. "Have some tea Bucky."  
"Thanks.", he smiled shyly and Natasha could hear herself scream in her thoughts. This was just too cute.

"Oh my god...", Y/n voice rang after a while.  
She spoke Russian again, which alone made Bucky's heart jump.  
Natasha leaned over to her to look what she'd found.  
Y/n held a small black white photograph in her hand.  
On it, was a slightly younger Bucky, wearing a united states uniform and a big grin on his face.  
"Honestly now Natasha, guys look so extremely much hotter in uniforms. I mean look at him! Damn...", Y/N sighted and when Nat looked up Bucky just stared at the photo, possibly dying on the inside right now.  
"Look Bucky, an old photo of you", Y/N repeated, holding the photo out for Bucky.  
He just stared at her and thanked god for his training as a cruel assassin, which prevented his hand from shaking.

Bucky stared at the photo.  
The young man looked nothing like him.  
He smiled so brightly...did he use to smile often?  
So he DID have a chance of her liking him...70 years ago.  
Bucky sighed. Maybe he should cut his hair.

Natasha looked at him.  
She still looked at him when Y/N already started working again.  
Maybe she should help the poor man a little.  
"So...Y/N, what do you think?", she asked.  
The other woman still didn't bother to look up from her work, writing.  
Bucky loved everything about her like that.  
The way her hair fell, the way she tucked it back behind her ear.  
The way her handwriting looked. It was so beautiful it seemed unreal.  
Every letter, perfectly formed.  
No wonder it seemed so nice, she probably wrote since a few hundred years.  
Still.

"What do i think about what?", Y/N finally answered.  
The woman were back to Russian again and Bucky flinched.  
"What are you going to do with our soldier here?"  
Natasha avoided his name, so if he wouldn't already know what they said, he wouldn't know they'r speaking about him.  
"I don't know yet...that's why i'm making a list."  
"A list?"  
"Yeah. With things we have to do."  
"Like?"

Bucky felt uncomfortable and interested at the same time.  
"Telling him about the historical facts. Music. Movies."  
"Okayyy."  
"About all the new innovations."  
"Like computers and so on?"  
"Exactly, that and weapons."  
"Is that what you did with Steve too?"  
"Somehow, but i have to be more...well intimate with Bucky i guess."

Bucky winced at that, but tried to hide it.  
Natasha giggled. "What do you mean?"  
"Social things. I mean...i have to see if we get along, but if we do, there's so much i'd like to do with him."  
"Like?"  
"Small things at first. Ice cream. Cinema. "  
"Oh...sure...but...why ice cream?"  
"Because that's something we had back then too. Maybe helps him remember."  
"But you did all that with Steve too, didn't you."  
"Yeah. Somehow. Thing with Bucky is that we have to work a lot with emotions like...trust and understanding and self awareness and acceptance. But to work on things like that, we have to be close. And we aren't. Not after one day of knowing each other."  
Natasha went silent.  
She looked at Bucky but he simply looked down thoughtfully.

He didn't deserve this.  
None of it. She was so nice and she cared so much.  
Why? He was nothing to her, she owed him nothing and still she was willingly sacrificing her time and power for him.

"Would you like to get to know him better?", Natasha asked.  
A small blush crept on Bucky's face and he looked up at Y/N just to see that it was the same thing with her too.  
"I mean...have you seen him? Who wouldn't want to get to know him?", she chuckled, "I'm just afraid he'll keep a distance all the time and doesn't want to have anything to do with me at all. I mean, he has no reason.", Y/n's smile disappeared and she still looked down.  
Natasha glanced from her face to his, seeing that he was at the verge of saying something.  
He stared at her.  
"I...I'm-"

"Bucky! There you are!"  
All three of them turned to the side to see Steve walking up to them.  
"You idiot...", Natasha groaned silently and Bucky closed his eyes en nerved, trying to stay cool.  
"There you are! Come with me, i need you.", Steve called.  
Bucky looked back at Y/N. Her eyes were shining and her lips slightly parted as she looked up at him.  
He wanted to say something anything.  
Yet again, he couldn't.  
He blinked a few times, before coughing out a "Excuse me...", and leaving.

When he was gone Y/N sighed.  
"This will be rough...i'll never get him to be okay with me"  
"Trust me, he will be.", Natasha smirked.

* * *

"Is there any plausible reason you made us come here?", Tony snapped, as she purred himself a drink.  
"Ahhh. Yes. Yes there is Tony.", she hissed back, still keeping a welcoming smile.  
"Let's talk about the Winter Soldier."


End file.
